When the work day is over, the last crumbs have been cleared off the tables, and the glass washer has been drained and scrubbed clean, the one who goes outside for their contracted cigarette is you. You’re not the only one outside, though. Smoking up a thick, grey cloud, ashing freely onto the floor that you’ve just swept up, is your manager.
Your manager has been there for the last hour while you were hassling customers to leave, cleaning sticky marks off every surface, and mopping behind the bar. You and your other coworkers were rushed off your feet, sweating through your uniform. But here’s your manager: lighting up another hand-rolled cigarette, scrolling on his phone.
“Working hard, or hardly working, am I right?”, you joke. Your manager grins, and reminds you to take the bins out. Prick.
Another shift, a drunk male customer stumbles towards you, slurring, that he thinks you’ve got great tits. Awkward grimace. Your manager is behind you, looking at his phone, when you ask him if he’s going to do anything about it. “Didn’t hear, what happened?” You tell him, and he replies that if the customer comes back again, he’s permanently barred. Thank you. “No problem! I’ll move you to another section and you can work with Sam.”
Sam heard you once mention that you were single, and now keeps asking you out, and isn’t taking no for an answer. You smile uncomfortably, knowing that your choice is between a drunk, older customer who repeatedly comments on your body, or your sober coworker, who keeps asking when you’re free to go for a drink. Your manager is mates with Sam, they’ve worked together for 3 years now, and anyway, Sam’s not some creep: he’s just really into you!
Another shift. It’s empty at work, so all the staff are chatting to help pass the time that you’re being paid minimum wage to waste. One coworker, Lexi, brings up the topic of religion. She’s a born-again Christian. You nod, and ask nothing about it. She talks about how current society is fucked. Sure. “Women seem to think that it’s ok to sleep around with loads of different men. It’s disgusting.” You just purse your lips together. A beat passes. “Or women sleep with women. It’s insane.” Nothing. “I mean, like, I’m not homophobic, but the Bible does say that homosexuality is a sin. It’s just not ok for men to sleep with men, or women to sleep with women. Like, I don’t think people shouldn’t be gay, but like, they shouldn’t act on their thoughts.”
“No, that does actually make you homophobic,” you stop her. Her mouth drops.
“How fucking dare you call me homophobic.”
“Probably because you just said something homophobic. Don’t use your religious beliefs to justify your homophobia.”
She storms off to gossip to her equally homophobic work-friend that you’ve never liked either. Your manager is nowhere to be seen. It’s stupid, but at the very least, it’s only these two coworkers that are like this. The rest are fine. Well, Sam does keep asking you out, but at least he’s friendly.
The next shift, you get called into the manager’s office for a quick chat. “Nothing to worry about, just want to clear up the situation that happened yesterday.” Ok. You tell him what happened, and about Lexi how keeps misgendering your non binary coworker, and how she also said that they were shoving their identity down everyone’s throats. They’re just naturally flamboyant and chatty, and no one else seems to have a problem: just her.
“I’ve spoken to Lexi, and she tells me that the discussion you guys were having yesterday was being misunderstood. She’s quite upset that you called her homophobic and too religious. Now, I’m not the type to bring up politics in the workplace, because I think it tends to cause too much disruption, when we’re all just trying to get on with our jobs. You know, calling someone homophobic, racist, sexist, whatever…that kind of thing can really ruin someone’s reputation. Just don’t do it, is what I’m trying to say. Like, not everyone is going to agree, and we just want to work in peace, right? So just like…don’t bring up race, or sexuality, or religion, or politics, or whatever, in the workplace. It’s just not conducive to a positive environment, and we all want to make sure we feel safe when we’re here at work. Ok? Thanks.”
You are a disruption. When did race come into this? You remember, being the only brown person in the team, makes you inherently a disruption. You disrupted the workplace, don’t do it again. Your friend, by being bubbly and feminine, is disrupting the workplace. You, calling someone homophobic, are disrupting the workplace.
The tills won’t function if you call someone homophobic. The drinks won’t pour themselves, and the plates won’t serve themselves, if you call someone homophobic. The customers won’t get plastered and be able to shout across the bar at you, if you call someone homophobic. Your manager won’t be able to spend an hour smoking outside, if you call someone homophobic. He’s now been forced to deal with you, because you called someone homophobic.
Never mind the homophobia. Or transphobia. Or misogyny. Or racism. Those aren’t disruptions. You are. You are disrupting the rest of the team. You are nothing but rust in a machine. Your manager’s words are his way of pouring oil into the rust you’ve created. He will stop your disruption, grease the way for the team to work together in sync again.